2007 Short Feature: Love 2.0
These days everything is found online. Could love be just a click away?
The Internet holds a plethora of dating websites. I decided to try out two of the more popular dating sites on the Internet. But how would I get the best results?
I first applied at eHarmony.comTM. I was instantly rejected because as the “compatibility computer” told me, I was incompatible with everyone in their database. I was getting depressed. I couldn’t even find love on the Internet. What’s a single girl to do?
I called up my friend.
“Go to Match.comTM or GoogleTM dating services and Atlanta,” she advised. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I was resourceful on the Internet. I never thought to GoogleTM my love. I entered into the search bar: “Atlanta + dating”. First website to appear was “Dating in Atlanta”. I clicked on its web address.
The site looks easy to use. I filled out a short profile. I began searching for dates. It wasn’t long before I received a private message from a “Big Twizzle.” Was this supposed to be the love of my life? His picture was a childish close up of his face with what looked like a stick in his mouth. His message left everything to be desired, as it began with, “S’up Ma?”
I logged off instantly. I couldn’t take the slang. I wasn’t a “ma” because I don’t even have any children. Big Twizzle was a petite fizzle into oblivion. There was no need for the pimp-star thug in my love life. My search was not going well.
I decided to flip the switch and see how the gay community lived. I visited Gay.comTM. I enjoyed the site, but it was mostly promoting gay clubs, cruises and products. I signed up as Eric, 33, single in Atlanta. I received six messages before I completed the rest of my profile, all looking for hookups. It was a stereotypically promiscuous gay site. I e-mailed my gay friend.
“Go to Manhunt.comTM,” he replied in an e-mail. He explained that Manhunt was the premiere website for gay males looking for a date. All of his single gay friends found their boyfriends there. So there could be some promise with this site since it produced boyfriends. I could use that type of commitment.
I typed it in and clicked Go. I was going to find love, even if I had to play like I was a gay male. Once the site uploaded, I was flabbergasted. The disclaimer warned me about adult content, but this soon?! I had seen things that I wouldn’t share with my own sisters and would probably have given them both heart attacks. Though I had to admit, I was staring at the pictures presented before me.
I quickly closed my laptop down when my roommate walked into the living room. My online quest for love was over. I may have been a new-age, technological genius, but my dot com bubble for love has already burst. I’ll stick to the old fashioned method: waiting for Love to find me.