These days everything is found online.  Could love be just a click away?

The Internet holds a plethora of dating websites.  I decided to try out two of the more popular dating sites on the Internet.  But how would I get the best results?

I first applied at eHarmony.comTM.  I was instantly rejected because as the “compatibility computer” told me, I was incompatible with everyone in their database.   I was getting depressed.  I couldn’t even find love on the Internet.  What’s a single girl to do?

I called up my friend.

“Go to Match.comTM or GoogleTM dating services and Atlanta,” she advised.  Why hadn’t I thought of that?  I was resourceful on the Internet.  I never thought to GoogleTM my love.  I entered into the search bar: “Atlanta + dating”.  First website to appear was “Dating in Atlanta”.  I clicked on its web address.

The site looks easy to use.  I filled out a short profile.  I began searching for dates.  It wasn’t long before I received a private message from a “Big Twizzle.”  Was this supposed to be the love of my life?  His picture was a childish close up of his face with what looked like a stick in his mouth.  His message left everything to be desired, as it began with, “S’up Ma?”

I logged off instantly.  I couldn’t take the slang.  I wasn’t a “ma” because I don’t even have any children.  Big Twizzle was a petite fizzle into oblivion.  There was no need for the pimp-star thug in my love life.  My search was not going well.

I decided to flip the switch and see how the gay community lived.  I visited Gay.comTM.  I enjoyed the site, but it was mostly promoting gay clubs, cruises and products.  I signed up as Eric, 33, single in Atlanta.  I received six messages before I completed the rest of my profile, all looking for hookups.  It was a stereotypically promiscuous gay site.  I e-mailed my gay friend.

“Go to Manhunt.comTM,” he replied in an e-mail.  He explained that Manhunt was the premiere website for gay males looking for a date.  All of his single gay friends found their boyfriends there.  So there could be some promise with this site since it produced boyfriends.  I could use that type of commitment.

I typed it in and clicked Go.  I was going to find love, even if I had to play like I was a gay male.  Once the site uploaded, I was flabbergasted.  The disclaimer warned me about adult content, but this soon?!  I had seen things that I wouldn’t share with my own sisters and would probably have given them both heart attacks.  Though I had to admit, I was staring at the pictures presented before me.

I quickly closed my laptop down when my roommate walked into the living room.  My online quest for love was over.  I may have been a new-age, technological genius, but my dot com bubble for love has already burst.  I’ll stick to the old fashioned method: waiting for Love to find me.